The big TWO-OH

wella wella well. I didn't think i'd live long enough to see this. My twentieth post. WHAT A WASTE OF SPACE THIS TURNED OUT TO BE.  

wow, thats pretty cool. Did you see that full stop I just used? woo thats tiny!

dumdedumdumdum hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..

what is it with the world and it's lack of INSPIRING things?
I'm sure we haven't run out yet. I'm sure there'll be SOMETHING SOMWHERE in that big ol' world out there.

It's just the trouble of finding it...
Too bad I'm incredibly lazy!

Ahhhhh weeeeeeellll.

Goin to AUZZIE soon. what an eventful trip THAT'LL turn out to be! OH BOY! I JUST LOOOOVE THAT PLACE!

Especially all those nice people who say i dont deserve to live cause i just CoUlDN't bE bOThEreD to learn the freakin' national anthem!

But that's half the fun of the place really.

Like they say, 'There's no place like home'

Whoever "THEY" are..

Wow, don't you ever wonder where all those timeless sayings come from? I mean it's not like they just popped up out of the blue right!?

Speaking of popping.

Did you know that when cow's fart they release methane gas? [Well, when anything farts really] And according to the "theory" of global warming. This is one of the gases that HEATS UP OUR PLANET!!

--OHH NOOO!!--

So really. I've come up with a solution to this global "Catastrophe"

JUST STOP FARTING!!

It's plain simple really. According to esteemed scientists everywhere, if every animal stops farting we'll cut our carbon emissions in HALF!!

THATS A NUMBER TOO BIG FOR ME TO EVEN ESTIMATE!!!!

So remember folks. Exiledmicrobe's friendly tip of the day.

"Clog up your butts and have a colder tomorrow!"

=) 

what has the world come to...

The Encepholohybranocosis

Sometime, in the near future, there is going to be a new species of animal.
It is going to be amazing.
Stupendous.
Magical.
Extraordinary.
Uber wicked awesome.
Radical.
Nyeh.

AND much, much more. (damn, where'd that thesaurus go..)

This creature will have seven eyes.
A mustache.
TWO tongues.
A polka-dotted liver.
A fancy looking bow tie. [for added classiness]
Two fuzzy little ears.
Buck teeth.
Widdle cute paws.
And, last but obviously not least:
A TOP HAT!!

This rare and illustrious animal is an in-bred hybrid. Not one animal nor another.
But the combined version of both. They also happen to be cousins.

Now, i suppose you're wondering what this platypus wannabe is, no?

The combined slowness of a wombat.
And the uber wicked rad awesomeness of a mongoose.

Gelled together to create a snake eating, grass munching, desert dwelling, non-flying, land mammal.

The Encepholohybranocosis
also know as the Goosebat in stupified terms.

Oh yeah and did i mention it's twelve foot seven?

No Good (My next work in progress [not totally finished though just a draft] got a little anger out with this.. not implying any of it is based on real life ;) )

You are gone now
I'm set free
Ending all
The tyranny

I'll never trust you
And i never shall
But I wont blame you,
Cause you're a cow-

Everybody was right,
You're no good for me!
Everybody was right,
And now i can see

The fog has lifted,
I'm blind no more.
I can't believe
You're a fucking whore!

Everybody was right,
You're no good for me!
Everybody was right
And now I can
See