Maple Syrup.

The walls of the room were damp and sticky. Little Goodrip looked around. It was like a cavern. A small light extended out in the distance.

"Chocolate. Stew?" Little Goodrip's mind was a flurry. Where was It?

The light came closer. Brighter. Harder. SCORCHING-ER. Little Goodrips eyes, now carrotified, melted from Its skull momentarily.

"Welcome. Child." The voice was low and groany. Was it the light?

"Do you take.. home deliveries...?" Little Goodrip was scared. Scared of the menacing light. Whom of which was sure to eat Its pancreas! NO!

As the light became lighter, a eerie smell filled the enclosure. What was that?

The Jenkins dog? Gary the Postman? Jingles the Allidile?

No...

This smell was much more pungent. Much more robust. much more... brown.

MAPLE. SYRUP.

What emerged from the light was a tiddly thing.

A piddly thing.

But not a giggly thing.

It was the all knowing, all seeing, Turtle foetus of yore. 

The pre-living legend!

 "Child..." The foetus spoke. "Welcome to my domain. My Universe."

Maple syrup secreted all over its tender body. Sticking in its throat, making each word low and gurgly.

"Do you come in a twelve pack?" After Its inter-dimensional belly button journey, Little Goodrip was starved.

The maple syrup lingered in the air. Almost intoxicating in the cramped hallway of a cave. Little Goodrips retinas enlarged at the heavenly sight.

"Poor creature. You look famished. Come. I have some tea and crumpets at the end of the universe." The sticky soft shell bubbled a little as the turtle talked. 

Yum.

Little Goodrip smiled.

And ate the foetus.

Chew. Chew. Chew.

The Foetus screamed in muffled maple syrup terror.

After a joyful gulp, the universe imploded.

and the fat man on the outside world was then trampled by a freak dandelion pollination ritual.

Never to be seen again.

Carotene Square

"He. He."

"This should be fun."

Little Goodrip smiled as the syringe pressed into its brain.

Deeply.

Deeper.

But not much deeper than that.

"Hoo. Ray." Little Goodrip pushed on the end of the syringe, transferring the liquid to It's central nerve system.

"I feel......"

Little Goodrip was not able to finish Its sentence however.

For a rain cloud appeared over Its head.

"My. My." Little Goodrip said wetly.

"Where is my rectum?"

The cloud created a hyperbolic disturbance in the gravitational field of Little Goodrip.

"I guess i should of worn pants today."

Little Goodrip smiled from top-to-bottom. It smelled the puddle of brown underneath it. Feet dripping unknown substances.

"aaahhhh..."

Little Goodrip smiled again. Relaxing.

"Thats. Better."

The still connected needle snapped off from Its cranium. The orange solution was fully drained.

"Can I see in the. Dark now?"

Little Goodrip underwent a metamorphosis and turned part carrot.

"Yummy. Yum."

Little Goodrip licked Its lips as a fat mans belly button sucked It up to another dimension.

But That Children. 

Is For Next Time.

Nothing I

It's Nothing.

Really.

Nothing At All.

I Want Some Happy Juice.

Happy Juice

"Chug. A. Lug." Said Little Goodrip in it's meek shudder of a voice.

Down the sickly hatchet the mysterious liquid went.

"Weeeeeeeee" Little Goodrip whispered as it felt the liquid punish it's colon.

"There. There. Have a pat" Little Goodrip patted where it anticipated it's spleen to be.

Little Goodrip gave it's winning smile.

Ear-to-eyebrow.

Very charming indeed.

Little Goodrip gurgled a little foam as it decided to take a little stroll. Just through the park that was located near the strange alleyway where that mysterious masked something gave it the:

'Happy Juice'.

"Taaaake a sssssswiiiig." The masked something said in a low, raspy tone.

"All your gastroenteritis nightmares will finally finish."

"Woo. Pee." Cried Little Goodrip in a small spasm.

"I've always wanted a chili farm."

"Yeeeeeeeeeeessssss" The masked something made somewhat a slither with it's tongue.

"Whaateveer floats your massssssive boat of dreamssss and rainbowssss"

This was Seven and a Quarter point five hours ago from the last time Little Goodrip sucked down the Happy Juice.

Little Goodrip gave another winning smile while chewing. 

A pigeon.

That it found on the side of the park.

"Yummy. Yum. I do like. Turkey bacon."

Little Goodrip then got washed away by a sea of jaguars.

But that, Children.

Is another tale.

Little Goodrip

Hello children.

How are we this evening?

Gooooooooood?

That certainly is good.

I want to tell you all a story children.

It's about a little boy. Or girl. Or beaver.

It's name is Little Goodrip.

Little Goodrip was a nice little thing.

It played and danced and sang.

Like all the other little children.

Except.

There was something different about

Goodrip.

Can you guess what it is children?

Yes! that's right children.

It had a mustache.

Now this bug eyed freak with a mustache,

Liked to go up and down

escalators for fun.

Like you children do.

Only.

One day.

Little Goodrip had an..

acciideennnt.

Yes children.

Little Goodrip got sucked

into a giant thermostat.

But thats another story.

For another time.

I do hope you enjoyed my little

effort children.

Until next tiiiiimmmeeeeeeeee.

SOMETHING III

What am I to do?

Should I just go up and implode? But then what about all the brain spatter? That wouldn't be very flattering one bit.

Should I just forget lycanthropic terror naught funny punny flower juice sect? Oh god, I really must stop that. It's become more of a habit that a polly wog Frisbee tournament could overtake gingerbread houses.

GAH! NOT AGAIN!

But thats the funny thing. It's not like there's anything wrong. Is there? NAH! I dunno. Why am I even writing this and posting this for the entire universe to see?

Well cause it's crossed out. SO OBVIOUSLY no can see it!

Crabsticks Like a flower juice

Jello, yes? Clover in a stem of pig nose. Real tape measures tables of justice like apples. CREATE. Today, never again, layers of toad. Healing the spring of july second new years giving thanks today huh? mellow.

Grieve lore of yonder holes. Yum for the hollow turtles my eatery forgives. Like rainbow spotted check in the box to comply the geographical appliance never before new to hurting hamburgers. Yellow red faces read hail watermelon stones for fun. Or not.

Yes?

maybe?

perhaps?

Possibly?

Never?

Forever chicken Aristotle Pythagorean mind yield on left turn. Yearning for oldening tulips of a new morrow. Real time gooseberries, hollow, trade for flowers.
Relax in due would feel dancing shindig. Hear radical carrots more your voice rains craters. Fly. Fly to ginger meadow wayward daughter child fish leg. Drinking leveling reactions gorilla. Foreignly. Surprise? Parsnip shag quackery Lego. Differ timetables dot watching. Life.

Seriousnossessalaria

There is a, Serious issue, i must attend to today.

It revolves around a certain disease i have recently found.
The alarming thing is... It's becoming more and more apparent that it's spreading..

this is certainly not good news for anyone. Not you, not me, not even that slow cooking lamb in your oven right now.

mmm, yum yum.

This horrid disease is commonly referred to as, seriousnossessalaria!!!

Add it to your dictionary now!

Now if you think the names scary, just wait till you hear what the symptoms are!

• constant irritable bowel syndrome, but in the head
• Aching back pain around the spinal chord
• Common outbursts of combustion-able implosions
• and, as the name suggests, a nasty case of:

SERIOUSNESS

Now i don't know about you, but this scares the bejesus out of me.

LUCKILY there is a cure!

a vaccine!

a final hope!

retribution!

salvation!

solution!

soluble justice!

YES

This amazing wonder drug is not a burrito though.

No, something much more potent.

you just...

well...

you just have to...

Live.

Or ya know, you could kill yourself too. that always works

hppy n vwls dy!!

tmrrw s dfntly  mmnts ccsn ndd! 

t's th wrlds vry frst:

N VWLS DY!!

dnt b lrmd f y wrn't wr f ths spcl dy bfr nw thgh!

Thts wht 'm hr fr!

N vwls dy s tht n tm f th yr whr w ll st bck nd thnk abt th grwng bvsnss f th dcln f prpr nglsh.

t s  cmmnly knwn fct tht  lrg smmry f wrds cntn ths Vwls.

n  wy, thy r tht xtr gltns glbl f ndrstndng tht crts n ndrstndbl lngg!

BT

t s bcmng mr nd mr pprnt tht ppls nglsh s strtng t smwht... lck tht xtr zng y shld cm t xpct frm  lngg.

S

ffcl nd nn-ffcl ldrs ll crss th glb hv dcdd t crt ths dy! 

rmmbr t wsly: frm nw n, vry aprl 14 wll b th n vwls dy.

t s  glbl rqrmnt fr vryn t pls, pls, DN'T ttr  sngl lttr tht ds nt hppn t b cnsnnt!

snc  m sch  nc prsn  hv dcdd t lst th CMPLT lttr lst fr y t s n ths mmnts ccsn.

strtng frm kybrdcl rdr:

q w r t y p s d f g h j k l z x c v b n m

S gn, b cnsdrt nd hlp spprt r dyng lngg!

thnk f th chldrn.

Something II

Alright, now this is really, really something.

Here. Is. A Secret. MESSAGE!!!

Only those with insane puzzel solving skill could even come close to reading this.

For everything is INVISIBLE!!

thats right.

But i guess you would of figured that out by now already eh?

ah well.

 I'm back from my long, long, long, long, short trip to Australia.

Weee.

OKAY THEN! THE SECRET HIDDEN MESSAGE I PROMISED.

I MUST WARN YOU.                                 IT'S A DOOZY.

......................................................................................................................................

Hello.

Something

                     

























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